‘Coaster Porn’ – Tumblr’s Secret Smiler Smut

By Michael Mander

WARNING: This article is classified NSFW, and is not suitable for younger viewers.

Smythe Lorenz is the name of a homosexual humanised version of The Smiler and the star of a peculiar fandom created by Tumblr users.

If you dig a little deeper than Tumblr’s collection of rollercoaster gifs and pictures, you’ll find a rather unusual collection of sexualised coasters.

Many of Alton Tower’s popular rides have been given personalities and bodies and – in this fandom – many of them spend most of their time *ahem* enjoying each other’s company.

In this twisted world Smythe (The Smiler) has a sexual relationship with Willy Wonka (of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory The Ride).

Graphic stories and drawings of the humanised versions of Alton’s newest coaster and the popular family ride can be found lurking around the social media site Tumblr.

“Needing no further encouragement, Smythe pulled Willy down into a ferocious kiss, sucking on his lower lip hard. In return, the confectioner grabbed the back of the equally eccentric man’s hair, pulling him in deeper into the kiss. Willy’s other leather-clad hand grabbed Smythe’s side.”

– From acks-gross-art. Smythe = The Smiler.

There is also a wealth of pictures:

Safe for work ... just about ... things get strange between Smythe and Jigsaw

Safe for work … just about …

One Tumblr user role-plays Smythe – answering anonymous questions in character (such as The Smiler’s choice of sex toy).

It's not just The Smiler with a personality of it's own....

It’s not just The Smiler with a personality of it’s own….

However, there is also a wealth of creative coaster characterisation on Tumblr – without the sex. Ask-The-Alton-Crew have drawn characters and written stories for Alton Tower’s main coasters.

Samuel The Smiler.

Every character has a detailed backstory. Rita is a short-tempered 19 year old with a passion for mechanics. She is highly protective of Tilly (Th13teen), a 13 year old girl who lived in a crypt for most of her life.

Oliver Oblivion

This is a factual article reporting on a lesser-known interpretation of roller-coasters. Many readers were interested in the imagery and asked for links to the blogs. Permission was sought before publishing any images but repeatedly ignored. No one in this fandom complained about the article and all comments were from people from other fandoms using fake e-mail addresses and names.

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About: Michael Mander

I mainly cover Thorpe Park, Alton Towers, Adventure Island, Paramount London and other attractions in the south of England. Contact me at: Michael@Airgates.co.uk

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